I got up yesterday morning from a very disturbing dream. I saw myself engaged in sexual activities (of a particular kind) with two actresses from Indian Cinema (Bollywood). These sexual activities are of the type which I am found of and which can be called as a fetish. The actresses in question represented two extreme ends. One of the actresses was somebody whom I had liked to some extent (for a cause that she represents) and the other one was somebody whom I never liked from the beginning (for no particular reason). In between these sexual activities I was forced to chew and eat some semi-dead green creatures which were neither fish nor frog but something in between with big fish like eyes (This sequence had a very-very depressing affect on me when I got up from the dream). The more I was made to chew and eat these semi-dead creatures, the more I vomited them out in a half-chewed green powdery form.
I was having the sex with the two actresses in turns. I enjoyed the sexual activity with the first actress (the actress attached to a cause) but my sexual activity with the second actress was very unpleasant as I did not like it. It was in fact revolting. This sexual orgy in my dream was broken when my father barged into the room in the dream sequence. My mother also came into the room from behind. Both had entered into the room with an intention to stop our activities. But as my father entered into the room, I and the two actresses stood up and resented his entry into the room. At this stage the dream was broken and I became partially awake. It was around 5:00 A.M. I could hear the morning prayers from a nearby mosque. I did not get up from the bed and in the semi-conscious state I was saying to myself (in my mind) that I am the ultimate Brahman and I absorb and devour every part of the dream that I saw.
I went to sleep again and finally woke up around 7:00 A.M. Before waking up again, I saw another dream in which I was standing in a railway station with an erstwhile colleague from my past. We had worked together for the same pharmaceutical company from 2003 to 2007. I said "good bye" to this colleague as I was ready to catch a train and leave for a completely different destination. But every time I tried to catch my train I was finding to my dismay that I ended up missing it because of one or the other reason. This erstwhile colleague who was standing beside me was vicariously enjoying my turmoil. He was envious of me and he was pestering me to stay on. He was suggesting that I should become a teacher as that was the thing that I had done in the past. On hearing this I vehemently opposed him and told him that he did not really know about my career path and goals and he should stop interfering in my things. Further I counter questioned his career path and past work related experiences. At this stage I got up from my sleep and the consequence of two disturbing and taxing dreams was visible on my mind and body.
I shall reserve my interpretations for these two dreams for sometime as I need to get into the groove and connect the loose endings of this dream with "things" that are happening with me in my conscious awakened state and the changes that are taking place in the external environment.
Sanjay at Nirvana
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