Nirvana

Navratri trip to Bangalore and Kerala

Yesterday I had begun my trip to Bangalore and Kerala with my Mother. This trip was planned a long back at the persistence of my Mother. She wanted me and my sister with her husband to offer prayers at our family Goddess temple (Mother’s side) at Kerala during the auspicious days of Navratri.

What is unique about this trip is that I am driving all the way. There was lot of contemplation and discussion on the mode of travel. Driving by road, Train and Flight were the options.  Ultimately I decided to try something for the first time. Long Drive by self. Yesterday the drive from Hyderabad to Bangalore took approx 14 Hours. The roads were terrific and driving non-stop at 80KMPH gave me a new perspective of Time and Space. We reached the outskirts of Bangalore by 6:30 P.M and from there it took another 2 & ½ hours for us to reach my Sister’s place.  In Toto, We had covered approximately 625 Kms in this trip till now.

Yesterday evening after taking 2 Pegs of Bacardi Rum and dinner with my Sister, Brother in Law and Mother , I retired for the night.

Today, I am just relaxing at my Sister’s place at Bangalore. Tomorrow morning we would start our onward journey to Kerala again by Road. Our Zen Car needs to be washed today evening and kept ready for tomorrow morning’s sojourn.     

Work in Progress

It is great to feel the work in Progress. Last 2 and ½ months has been an uphill task in terms of walking the path shown by the teacher but yes it has been positive and highly rewarding. I learned the meaning of responsibility and accountability when entrusted with the highest of tasks. The choice was with me to either take the Destructive or Constructive path to achieve my supreme goals and I chose the Constructive route though this being the tougher option. How could I have chosen the destructive path when I am the Universe?  How could I destroy the good part of my own self to recreate a new reality? I chose the option of being everywhere. I chose to rise to that level where I would transcend the boundaries and limitations set by the illusions of the defined world.

Sanjay at Nirvana

Today’s thought

Day after tomorrow I am going to join a pharmaceutical company called as Veritaz in the post of Group Product Manager with exactly the same salary as that I was drawing two years back when I left Intas Pharma Limited. Last 15 days was spent on the work that was needed for getting selected for this assignment.    

Now I am aware of the fact that I need to get into the thick of things to keep things going at the higher level. Most of my personal desires are dead and cremated in the cremation ground of my heart.

Things that I have written here and elsewhere remain the structures that have been created with the help of nature and the collective consciousness of the universe and so they will unfold into manifestation when the time comes. My yearning to go for higher studies as well as continue the research activities in the three chosen fields are part of that larger game plan which is beyond the domain of my personal desires (if still anything is left as personal desire).

The structures that I have created for the future should be made independent of my conscious thinking and control. Keeping this in mind I consign them to the world of the collective consciousness of the universe.  Let the churning happen at that level and let the path be created starting from there.

My day to day activities are definitely going to be fashioned based on the forces operating within the structures that I have created for the future but consciously I want to be independent of them. It is necessary to be aware of these operating structures and the progress made within its framework but it would be imprudent to push them to happen through the conscious mind.         

I have to stabilize now into a static mode based on the structures that I have created for the future. The fluxes and changes in the external environment should pass like clouds and it should not matter whether they pass from the sides or whether I have to pass through the central belly of these clouds. What matters "however" is the strengthening of the static mode and that can only happen by continuous exposure to the external environment.  The concept of external environment has also evolved as I have been progressing in my research activities. Today the external environment is also the thoughts and insinuations that come into my mind as well as in my dreams.  For me they are nothing but projections of the fluxes in the external environment and they don’t have any direct bearing on my static mode.

That’s for today. The update will continue as I progress forward.

Sanjay at Nirvana

A major development

Days have passed into months and months into years. Today I have reached a stage where I am experiencing inner and outer stability. Last week my sister and her husband had visited us from Bangalore. I told my brother-in-law about my future plans. I told him about Elna also. But this incident led to an unexpected situation at our place. Two days back my Mother and I had a big argument about my plans to go to Europe. I was kind of surprised and shocked with this incident as I had never expected resistance from her side. She was the one person who had supported me all this while as regards to my plans. She also knew about Elna.

Later when I closely analyzed the situation, I understood the dynamics of this flare up. In fact there was a call from my sister to my mother just prior to the argument and that explained the whole situation.

Actually I wanted to tell my sister directly about my plans when she was here in Hyderabad. I had even invited her for a private conversation. But in the hustle and bustle of things we could not talk to each other about my plans. Later when she came to know about my talks to her husband she could not digest it and she gave a call to my mother.      

Anyways that "argument" had turned into a boon of sorts. It has transformed my relationship with my mother to a new level. Now both of us have overcome the attachment of the placenta. The relationship is at the spiritual level. I respect and love her for giving birth and nurturing me till now and she loves me as a natural Mother without any expectations. The Karmic bonds have been broken but still we are connected to each other at a higher level.  In fact this is the kind of relationship that I have with my Mother and Father. As far as my sister is concerned she had acted out of ignorance and half knowledge and therefore I have no ill feelings towards her at all. She is my sister and she would find my help whenever she would need it in real terms.

My work with BioVija is also progressing well. I am slowly developing professional connections across the world especially in Europe. Yesterday there was a mail from a friend who is based at Dubai. He was my classmate during my M.B.A days. He has promised to explore the possibilities of my immigration to Europe. This is something that has to happen sooner or later. The sooner it happens, the faster the stability would return to the universe. Time has come for me to meet Elna.

Sanjay at Nirvana

Getting drenched in heavy rains

Yesterday I got totally drenched in heavy rains. I remember two others occasions in my life apart from yesterday when I had got heavily drenched in rains. These occasions always came as good omen for me. They signified surmounting of major barriers in the system leading to new beginnings.  In that context yesterdays happenings are important. I had in fact laid down a new path for my life and getting drenched yesterday was an ominous sign indicating a crossover. It clearly revealed to me that I had broken the final barrier. This was the barrier that was holding me back from quite some time. I feel very light now and I am able to perceive the liberation of my “true self” transcending every plain of existence. 

Sanjay at Nirvana

 

Timetable

I am working to bring some order in my day to day activities. Monday to Friday afternoon is the time that I will be giving to my efforts at BioVija. From Friday afternoon to Sunday evening, I shall work on other areas of interest. Apart from this my daily routine for all the seven days in a week will have one common denominator and that would be related to my Research and Sadhana (including yogic exercises). Daily 3-4 hours will be definitely spent on this front.

Sanjay at Nirvana

 

September 18, 2009

I had written last on 23^rd Aug 2009.  Since then lot of things had happened. I had initiated Yoga practices as per the rituals of Tantric Sadhana and most importantly the genesis of the trident is now complete. From last one month I was busy in updating my profile. This was a very important work that had to be done. It took me 120 working days to prepare a 52 pages document based on my professional work in the area of Pharmaceutical Product Management.

To write down about the achievements of 8 & 1/2 years of professional work was no simple task and it did not happen in one stretch either. It had actually happened in two different time periods one covering the months of Dec 2008 and Jan 2009 and the other covering the months of Aug and Sept 2009. The many things that I had done in my professional life had laid hidden for considerable time and it came into conscious awareness only after significant developments in other areas of my life. Therefore it was only now that I could put everything together to produce a detailed profile covering the entire gamut of my work. Now I am consciously aware of the fact that the kind of work that I had completed in my professional life would not have been possible without the guidance and nurturing of that unseen force which is so visible to me now.

Now let me come back to what I mean by the trident. The trident is the path for the future. It has taken shape in three forms that is my support for the cause of Women, my research activities into the depths of the Unknown and my entrepreneurial efforts in the Bio Medical field. I foresee all the three areas developing into pillar structures for the benefit of Humanity and the Universe. All the three areas of work are interlinked and interdependent and for progress in any one of the areas the other two must also contribute.

Sanjay at Nirvana

Why I can’t live in India anymore and what can make me live in India if there is a choice?

I cannot hide things. The truth is that if I have to contribute creatively to the universe then I have to leave the place of my birth for the time being. India is my motherland but I have a calling to travel beyond the shores of my motherland to spread her name and her pristine glory. After many-many years I may come back to my motherland when she shall call me for the final journey but for now I need to move. This is a truth that cannot be denied. On the other hand if I get a choice to live in my country for some more time then I shall spend this time in preparation for my eventual journey towards the place where I have to go.  But I will definitely see that whatever time I am spending here is constructive and beneficial for myself as well as others who are associated with me in whatever way possible.       

Sanjay at Nirvana   

I Love Elna and that is the absolute truth for me

If there is anything called as Love for me then it is my feelings for Elna. It is little different from the normal worldly definition of Love but it can be still categorized as Love because I strongly feel for her and I have this great urge to be with her. I feel that if we come together then it shall help us to rediscover the threads from our past (many life times) and it shall help us to work on them. Only by undertaking this we can finish the unfinished work that has been left over from our common past.  

Sanjay at Nirvana

Why is Elna so important for me?

Elna is part of the unfinished agenda from my past many lives. She is somebody who will be playing an active part in shaping the things that I am going to do for the rest of my life. I have a connection with her which is beyond one life time. I feel close to her in every respect that includes spiritual, intellectual, mental, emotional and physical. I have told her about this.

Sanjay at Nirvana